tennis | Panorama

Iuri had just returned from a month-long training camp overseas. The next day, he played against someone he had never beaten before — a player who can smell annoyance and use lobs, awkward pace, and irritation to exacerbate the annoyance. That is tennis, it is not cheating.

The match was tight. It went to a tiebreak.

On all four match points, the ball bounced badly in favor of his opponent. Four times. Iuri lost the tiebreak not because he lacked the strokes, but because frustration got to him first.

Competitive tennis is a mental game. At that level, everyone can play. Matches are often decided by how quickly a player recovers from a bad point. One bad bounce can hijack the mind. Players begin rushing. Errors multiply. By then the player has dug their own hole.

That is what makes tennis difficult. Not only the rallies, but the accumulation of emotion over the points. Professionals play matches lasting two, sometimes five hours. By then, the legs are tired, but so is the mind.

After losing the tiebreak came a short tantrum like an 8 year old child whos candy was snatched.

When he had settled down, I told him I never expected him to win every match after camp. Tennis is not boxing where opponents can be chosen carefully. In tennis, losses are unavoidable. I also told him that if he pressures himself, he will only get frustrated more.

Training teaches technique. Application teaches reality.

The camp improved his serve and forehand and all other techniques. You could see it in the match. He stayed in points longer. He competed better. But the mental side of the game cannot be downloaded in a month overseas. That only comes from experience — from accepting the misfortunes of the game like bad bounces, difficult opponents, heat, nerves, and losses that stay with you for a while.

The court does not adjust itself for one player. The bad bounce that hurts you today may save you tomorrow.

Mental toughness doesn’t not only come from physical strength, and from speed of mental recovery but also from accepting that not everything can go your way, that there are circumstances beyond your control. Only then you can focus back on your strategy. No, it is not denying the existence of emotions but knowing that it has to take on the sideline.

If only maturity could be accelerated for young athletes. But growth has its own pace. First comes knowing. Then applying. Then learning.

He remained quiet after the loss, but I noticed something had changed. Before, a defeat like this would ruin his whole day. This time, it only lasted an hour.

We had lunch in Goodah after.

By then, everything was already good-ah.

That afternoon he played again, he was tired but pushed himself. The day after, he played again and pushed himself despite being tired and carrying the mental effect of loss from yesterday

It is that time of the year again, Iuri’s tennis tryouts. This is causing me so much anxiety, but I am sure it is causing Iuri even more.

After not making it 2017 and 2018, Iuri finally became part of the school elementary varsity team in 2019. Since there were no tryouts for two years because of the pandemic, tryouts resumed in 2022. That year was such a nail-biting tryout season. Iuri had little practice that year, was just getting back into playing tennis, and had just recovered from COVID-19 two weeks before the tryouts. He was still weak and had only played twice before the tryouts, so his confidence was low.

The night before the tryout, he woke up in the middle of the night crying and having a nightmare. It was hard for us to see him that way, but we couldn’t let him avoid trying and let fear take over. On the day of the tryout, he lost all his matches and afterward complained that he had poor eyesight. I told him not to make excuses and to play better the following day. The next day, he won a match against a senior student yet still complained about his eyesight. I then took him to an optometrist. To our surprise, his prescription was above 300. My bad.

On the second day of tryouts, I went to Starbucks in Missouri to get myself a coffee. As soon as I parked the car, I got out, still thinking of the tryouts. I walked maybe 7 to 10 steps, about to go up the stairs, when I noticed my car was moving. I looked again, and yes, it was moving. I rushed back, clicked the unlock button on my remote, opened the passenger side door, jumped in, and stepped over my left leg to hit the brakes. Good thing I did not get into an accident. At least, he got in Team A of junior high school team.

The following year, 2023, it was the same case but under different circumstances. We came from a three-week trip and Iuri was only able to play once during the trip. He only had two weeks to prepare and get his groove back, but it was not enough because classes were about to start in three days by the time we arrived in Manila. So he was only able to train five times before the tryouts. During the tryouts, he almost won the first match, except that at match point, his opponent returned a backhand that hit the net and fell in the service box, which Iuri was not able to reach. He won the second match, lost the third, and zeroed a senior high school player in the last match, earning him a slot in Team A.

This year, 2024, Iuri prepared better. He played more match plays, joined more tournaments, and did more strengthening. A player confidently told him that he will barely get in, but it did not crush his confidence. On the first day of tryouts, he did well. He beat an older opponent who played decent tennis. He told me that he was stiff during the first few games of the tiebreaker but was able to recover in the 5th game. There are 13 players left and only 8 will be selected. To prepare for the second day of tryouts, he played several tiebreakers, practiced his serve, and worked on his strategy. He entered the tryouts confidently. He won 2 matches with a convincing lead, making it into the team with ease this year.

Every parent navigates stress while their child is in a match differently. Some pray, others coach their child, and others do not watch. In my case, I avoid watching and just send someone with Iuri unless there is no choice. I do pray, too, a lot while he is playing.

Handling defeat is another case. I used to process his game as soon as it ended. I learned that I should first allow him to understand everything that happened in the game. For him to personally assess and analyze his game, but it would be tricky for someone who is still developing his game sense.

It was a relief for me and Ingrid knowing that he got into the team this year with no drama. For me, the biggest takeaway from this experience is that hard work, perseverance, and persistence yield positive results, but there’s always more to strive for and no room for complacency.

Jaime, my eldest, is also into sports, specifically bouldering. He recently got into it and has already competed. The results were not bad, considering it was his first time joining. Since I have gained some experience as a parent of an athlete, I am now able to apply lessons learned to him. One example is allowing him to process his performance so that he can be more open to talk about it, and also asking him about his goals and areas where he wants to improve.

Every parent wants to see their young athlete successfully make it in their match, but that is impossible in sports or in any serious activity; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But it is the journey through the ups and downs of victory and defeat that make the sports journey meaningful.