Hope comes when you are at your weakest

I am currently reading Mistborn, a book my son suggested. Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn is a high fantasy novel set in a dystopian world ruled by the immortal Lord Ruler, where ash falls from the sky and plants struggle to grow. The story follows Vin, a street urchin with latent magical powers, who joins a group of rebels led by the enigmatic Kelsier to overthrow an oppressive regime. Their weapon? Allomancy, a unique magic system where individuals gain extraordinary abilities by ingesting and “burning” specific metals. The novel delves into profound themes like betrayal, hope, friendship, leadership, and the weight of prophecy.

I have never been a fan of the fantasy genre, but I decided to give it a try after coming across this C.S. Lewis quote that kept appearing in my feed:

“When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

At this stage of my life, I’m reflecting on reconnecting with my younger self—embracing a sense of wonder and relying a bit less on purely rational, humanly skills. I want to be more hopeful, like a child eagerly looking forward to a Christmas morning.

Taking a chance on a genre outside my comfort zone led me to a passage in Mistborn that deeply resonated with me:

“Our belief is often strongest when it should be weakest. That is the nature of hope.”

Hope is the expectation that something good or desirable will happen in the future. It is the spirit that provides fuel to go through challenges. But it’s not about positive thinking or simply trying to manifest outcomes. Hope is something deeper and more enduring. Emily Dickinson captures this beautifully in her poem:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

From a theological perspective, hope is a virtue that directs man toward God, sustaining faith and trust in His promises. Even Nietzsche, often regarded as a staunch critic of Christianity, suggests a kind of hope tied to self-overcoming and embracing life’s challenges.

The essence of hope is that it often becomes most evident in dire circumstances—moments of death, failure, or loss. When we’re only worried or anxious about a potential challenge, hope feels like a mere mental vision. But true hope, as Mistborn and Dickinson remind us, carries a profound peace in the heart. It is in the storms of life, when everything seems lost, that hope takes flight, revealing its strength and grace.

Wholly Human: Class #1

A couple of weeks ago, I signed up for a free course at UA&P titled WHOLLY HUMAN: Integral Anthropology. Without knowing much about the course, I was intrigued by its title, which ultimately prompted me to enroll.

Today, I attended the first session of this three-part series, facilitated by Dr. Celing Tiongco, a long-time professor at the university. The class was attended mostly by members of Dr. Tiongco’s prayer circle and other professors, including the esteemed Professor Emeritus Dr. Paul Dumol.

The course explores Integral Anthropology, which integrates philosophical and theological anthropology with empirical findings from disciplines like biology, economics, psychology, and neuroscience, etc. . Its practical goal is to offer a holistic understanding of the human person by drawing insights from various perspectives rather than relying on a single discipline.

One of the central discussions focused on humanity’s trajectory:

  1. Existence – Man’s origin .
  2. Humanization – Learning and becoming truly human.
  3. Flourishing – Living well in all aspects of life.
  4. Final Destiny – Which, depending on one’s beliefs, is either nothingness or, for Christians, salvation.

A key takeaway for me is the way this course reframes the fundamental questions we collectively ask about life: Who are we? Why do we exist? What is our purpose? What guides our morality? All these questions converge into one profound inquiry: What is the whole truth about man?

Another important insight is recognizing that humans exist in a tension between good and bad, possessing the freedom to choose. While this seems obvious, it contrasts sharply with today’s culture, where “authenticity” often equates to embracing raw, unrefined impulses—our untamed, animalistic selves.

The session also highlighted a deeply resonant truth: man is broken by nature. This brokenness creates a sense of emptiness, which we often attempt to fill with desires and longings. Interestingly, the professor shared a study indicating that this emptiness is universal, affecting both those with and without mental health issues. This brought to mind the timeless words of St. Augustine:

“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

I am looking forward to the next session. For now, we have been assigned some thought-provoking questions to prepare for our upcoming discussions.

Intensity vs. Consistency

Photo by Chait Goli on Pexels.com

The self-help and motivational genre often emphasizes grand gestures, powerful emotional highs, and the pursuit of rapid transformation. This approach appeals to the desire for instant change, encouraging people to chase after intense bursts of motivation and enthusiasm. However, this intensity is often short-lived and can lead to burnout, unrealistic expectations, and disappointment when quick results don’t materialize.

In focusing on intensity, the genre sometimes overlooks the value of consistency—small, daily actions that build sustainable habits and gradually lead to long-term success. Consistency, unlike intensity, requires discipline, patience, and resilience. It’s the slow but steady force behind genuine growth, the kind that accumulates over time and stands the test of challenges.

This cultural shift toward intensity over consistency can lead to people continually chasing the next big motivational boost or life-changing “aha” moment, rather than committing to incremental progress. It can create a cycle where individuals become addicted to the highs of motivation but struggle with the follow-through, leading to feelings of inadequacy or stagnation.

Ultimately, true growth often comes not from momentary intensity but from sustained, consistent efforts—the quiet, often unglamorous routines that build resilience, character, and enduring success.

The lasting impact of this MILO BEST commercial

I was 10 or 11, fat and tall, when I first saw this commercial, and boy, I envied how he, Louie, dribbled that ball. I would make sure to watch that commercial every time it shows. I would have recorded it if only I could. I was already playing basketball but knew that I could still be better by learning how to dribble, so I asked to be enrolled in MILO Best E. Rodriguez, where Waltermart is now, with my cousin. When I got there on the first day, I was intimidated by the big coach who welcomed everyone, Mr. Jorge. He was huge, and his voice boomed when he spoke. He scared me to death. Nonetheless, I went through the drills and practiced at home. What I did not know was that we will be judged on how we do with the drills. On the day of the exam, I did not go out of fear. He personally called our house to look for me. I got scared and did not return. What does a 10 year old fat kid know, anyway?

I chickened out. I did not know any better at 10. No one told me to go back and show up. Later in life, I realized that the most basic thing in any endeavor is showing up no matter what. And it is more than just trying; it is committing and persevering. This is where I think the role of sports parenting comes in. But first, I have no bad feelings toward my parents because, to them, sports were more of leisure than character development. In my case, I see it as a path to learning discipline and fortitude while liking what we do. In other words, whether you like what you do or not, nothing is easy, so keep on doing.

This realization helped me apply such lessons to my children. I just encourage them to join competitions and be there no matter what the results are as long as they put forth their best effort. But of course, every best should be better than the previous best, and this is achieved through practice and perseverance. I sign them up and make them go through the struggle, with us on the sidelines as cheerleaders. Because the lesson is not about winning or losing; the lesson is in the process, the struggle, the people who are there to support, and the opponents who are also friends outside the arena. The winning comes later.

Forty years later, the lessons brought by this commercial still live: show up, and never give up.

The Agony and Victory of Tennis Tryouts: A Parent’s Perspective

It is that time of the year again, Iuri’s tennis tryouts. This is causing me so much anxiety, but I am sure it is causing Iuri even more.

After not making it 2017 and 2018, Iuri finally became part of the school elementary varsity team in 2019. Since there were no tryouts for two years because of the pandemic, tryouts resumed in 2022. That year was such a nail-biting tryout season. Iuri had little practice that year, was just getting back into playing tennis, and had just recovered from COVID-19 two weeks before the tryouts. He was still weak and had only played twice before the tryouts, so his confidence was low.

The night before the tryout, he woke up in the middle of the night crying and having a nightmare. It was hard for us to see him that way, but we couldn’t let him avoid trying and let fear take over. On the day of the tryout, he lost all his matches and afterward complained that he had poor eyesight. I told him not to make excuses and to play better the following day. The next day, he won a match against a senior student yet still complained about his eyesight. I then took him to an optometrist. To our surprise, his prescription was above 300. My bad.

On the second day of tryouts, I went to Starbucks in Missouri to get myself a coffee. As soon as I parked the car, I got out, still thinking of the tryouts. I walked maybe 7 to 10 steps, about to go up the stairs, when I noticed my car was moving. I looked again, and yes, it was moving. I rushed back, clicked the unlock button on my remote, opened the passenger side door, jumped in, and stepped over my left leg to hit the brakes. Good thing I did not get into an accident. At least, he got in Team A of junior high school team.

The following year, 2023, it was the same case but under different circumstances. We came from a three-week trip and Iuri was only able to play once during the trip. He only had two weeks to prepare and get his groove back, but it was not enough because classes were about to start in three days by the time we arrived in Manila. So he was only able to train five times before the tryouts. During the tryouts, he almost won the first match, except that at match point, his opponent returned a backhand that hit the net and fell in the service box, which Iuri was not able to reach. He won the second match, lost the third, and zeroed a senior high school player in the last match, earning him a slot in Team A.

This year, 2024, Iuri prepared better. He played more match plays, joined more tournaments, and did more strengthening. A player confidently told him that he will barely get in, but it did not crush his confidence. On the first day of tryouts, he did well. He beat an older opponent who played decent tennis. He told me that he was stiff during the first few games of the tiebreaker but was able to recover in the 5th game. There are 13 players left and only 8 will be selected. To prepare for the second day of tryouts, he played several tiebreakers, practiced his serve, and worked on his strategy. He entered the tryouts confidently. He won 2 matches with a convincing lead, making it into the team with ease this year.

Every parent navigates stress while their child is in a match differently. Some pray, others coach their child, and others do not watch. In my case, I avoid watching and just send someone with Iuri unless there is no choice. I do pray, too, a lot while he is playing.

Handling defeat is another case. I used to process his game as soon as it ended. I learned that I should first allow him to understand everything that happened in the game. For him to personally assess and analyze his game, but it would be tricky for someone who is still developing his game sense.

It was a relief for me and Ingrid knowing that he got into the team this year with no drama. For me, the biggest takeaway from this experience is that hard work, perseverance, and persistence yield positive results, but there’s always more to strive for and no room for complacency.

Jaime, my eldest, is also into sports, specifically bouldering. He recently got into it and has already competed. The results were not bad, considering it was his first time joining. Since I have gained some experience as a parent of an athlete, I am now able to apply lessons learned to him. One example is allowing him to process his performance so that he can be more open to talk about it, and also asking him about his goals and areas where he wants to improve.

Every parent wants to see their young athlete successfully make it in their match, but that is impossible in sports or in any serious activity; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But it is the journey through the ups and downs of victory and defeat that make the sports journey meaningful.