Toast to the newly wedded couple

Photo by Jeremy Wong on Pexels.com

Clink the glass. Remember that the clinking of glass is a call to kiss each other. Tomorrow Japhet that is a call to wash the dishes and iron the clothes.

Good evening everyone. Are you all enjoying? I hope all of you are enjoying the night and the great food. Of course food is always delicious when free. Thanks to the groom and bride for serving us great food.

I’m Jeff cua Kyra’s eldest cousin from her mother side, tita jing. Kyra was the flower girl in my wedding when she was 7. She’s also a favorite photo subject when I was actively doing photography.

I have been married for almost 20 years and it’s truly a wonderful ride. The feeling is More like a war survivor. There are joys and challenges along the way but the bond gets stronger as you get through them. For the sake of those who don’t know It was my wife who made me say yes to her and until now, the only thing I can say to her is yes. The first time I saw her I knew i found the right one. Yes, she is The one who is always right. This also explains why I teach at the university level dun lang ako pwedeng maging tama. marriage at the end of the day is just 2 people who decided to Annoy each other for the rest of their lives. My tip: Japhet say sorry when you are wrong and when Kyra is wrong, you are still wrong.

I have a confession to make. I’m just trying to be calm because there was a misunderstanding. In the briefing earlier I was told that I’ll do the toast. All the while i thought I’ll be doing a roast. I had to rewrite my Speech.

4 days ago tito Brian called me and asked me, Jeff can you do the roast. I was confused and even wondered why I was asked to do the roast when it’s normally the role of the best man or the brother of the bride. Bakit mga hindi kayo nagtratabaho Dito? But judging by the way they look, they look drunk and busog. But since I love roasting people specially a groom, whom I just met today, I said yes.

I’ll be nice.

First an observation. You know I have been to many weddings but this is the first time I’ve been to a wedding where the couple decided to serve Redhorse extra strong. -lakas niyan ah, gusto ba nilang umuwi ng gumagapang yung tao? Then I thought, This is probably Japheth reminding Kyra of his extra strong love for her and knowing Kyra,this is her telling Japheth na malakas Ang Sipa niya.

If you haven’t heard yet, nung elementary siya binagsakan niya yung classmate niyang lalaki na nangloloko sa kanya ng bookshelf lang naman. I heard you love reading books Japhet. If I were you I’d stay away from bookshelves.

Often the family members especially kuyas of the bride would warn the groom. Wag mong sasaktan kapatid ko kungdi….but in this case Brad knows Kyra can defend herself dahil nung bata pa Sila, bugbog sarado si Brad. Ngayon si Erica na bubugbog sa iyo.

During Kyra’s debut sabi niya Ang gusto ko sa lalaki yung kamukha ni daddy. I looked at Tito Brian, naluluha. Ako din naluluha, pano na lang kung itake ni lord literally. buti na lang nilinaw ni Kyra, na ibig niyang Sabihin na kasing patient, prayerful, bait, sipag at respectful ni Tito Brian. Those are the things that I hear about Japhet. Palakpakan natin Ang mga magulang na nagpalaki kay Japheth. God loves you Kyra so he gave you what you wished for and probably more.

But Seriously Kyra i think you are in the arms of someone who truly loves you especially after I learned that Japhet has a devotion to mama Mary. Anyone who has a devotion to our mother is always close to Christ, respectful to mothers and women. I am sure, us, your family and everyone who loves you, we are assured that you married a Christ centered family man. (look at Japhet and tell him wag kang papahiyain Ang gaganda ng sinasabi ko sa iyo)

Furthermore, Your lives don’t belong to yourselves anymore but to your spouse and children to be. This means you have to take care of your names dahil I-google lang nila Ang pangalan niyo at malalaman Ang pagkatao mo.

Now, on to my toast, please stand and raise your glasses. Let us all wish Japhet and Kyra a happy and fruitful marriage, May you bear and raise, healthy and god fearing children. May you both persevere in love. May you both put Christ in the center of your family. May you both, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, love and honor each other all the days of your life. And May your ups and downs be only in the bedroom.

Cheers!

The lasting impact of this MILO BEST commercial

I was 10 or 11, fat and tall, when I first saw this commercial, and boy, I envied how he, Louie, dribbled that ball. I would make sure to watch that commercial every time it shows. I would have recorded it if only I could. I was already playing basketball but knew that I could still be better by learning how to dribble, so I asked to be enrolled in MILO Best E. Rodriguez, where Waltermart is now, with my cousin. When I got there on the first day, I was intimidated by the big coach who welcomed everyone, Mr. Jorge. He was huge, and his voice boomed when he spoke. He scared me to death. Nonetheless, I went through the drills and practiced at home. What I did not know was that we will be judged on how we do with the drills. On the day of the exam, I did not go out of fear. He personally called our house to look for me. I got scared and did not return. What does a 10 year old fat kid know, anyway?

I chickened out. I did not know any better at 10. No one told me to go back and show up. Later in life, I realized that the most basic thing in any endeavor is showing up no matter what. And it is more than just trying; it is committing and persevering. This is where I think the role of sports parenting comes in. But first, I have no bad feelings toward my parents because, to them, sports were more of leisure than character development. In my case, I see it as a path to learning discipline and fortitude while liking what we do. In other words, whether you like what you do or not, nothing is easy, so keep on doing.

This realization helped me apply such lessons to my children. I just encourage them to join competitions and be there no matter what the results are as long as they put forth their best effort. But of course, every best should be better than the previous best, and this is achieved through practice and perseverance. I sign them up and make them go through the struggle, with us on the sidelines as cheerleaders. Because the lesson is not about winning or losing; the lesson is in the process, the struggle, the people who are there to support, and the opponents who are also friends outside the arena. The winning comes later.

Forty years later, the lessons brought by this commercial still live: show up, and never give up.

The Agony and Victory of Tennis Tryouts: A Parent’s Perspective

It is that time of the year again, Iuri’s tennis tryouts. This is causing me so much anxiety, but I am sure it is causing Iuri even more.

After not making it 2017 and 2018, Iuri finally became part of the school elementary varsity team in 2019. Since there were no tryouts for two years because of the pandemic, tryouts resumed in 2022. That year was such a nail-biting tryout season. Iuri had little practice that year, was just getting back into playing tennis, and had just recovered from COVID-19 two weeks before the tryouts. He was still weak and had only played twice before the tryouts, so his confidence was low.

The night before the tryout, he woke up in the middle of the night crying and having a nightmare. It was hard for us to see him that way, but we couldn’t let him avoid trying and let fear take over. On the day of the tryout, he lost all his matches and afterward complained that he had poor eyesight. I told him not to make excuses and to play better the following day. The next day, he won a match against a senior student yet still complained about his eyesight. I then took him to an optometrist. To our surprise, his prescription was above 300. My bad.

On the second day of tryouts, I went to Starbucks in Missouri to get myself a coffee. As soon as I parked the car, I got out, still thinking of the tryouts. I walked maybe 7 to 10 steps, about to go up the stairs, when I noticed my car was moving. I looked again, and yes, it was moving. I rushed back, clicked the unlock button on my remote, opened the passenger side door, jumped in, and stepped over my left leg to hit the brakes. Good thing I did not get into an accident. At least, he got in Team A of junior high school team.

The following year, 2023, it was the same case but under different circumstances. We came from a three-week trip and Iuri was only able to play once during the trip. He only had two weeks to prepare and get his groove back, but it was not enough because classes were about to start in three days by the time we arrived in Manila. So he was only able to train five times before the tryouts. During the tryouts, he almost won the first match, except that at match point, his opponent returned a backhand that hit the net and fell in the service box, which Iuri was not able to reach. He won the second match, lost the third, and zeroed a senior high school player in the last match, earning him a slot in Team A.

This year, 2024, Iuri prepared better. He played more match plays, joined more tournaments, and did more strengthening. A player confidently told him that he will barely get in, but it did not crush his confidence. On the first day of tryouts, he did well. He beat an older opponent who played decent tennis. He told me that he was stiff during the first few games of the tiebreaker but was able to recover in the 5th game. There are 13 players left and only 8 will be selected. To prepare for the second day of tryouts, he played several tiebreakers, practiced his serve, and worked on his strategy. He entered the tryouts confidently. He won 2 matches with a convincing lead, making it into the team with ease this year.

Every parent navigates stress while their child is in a match differently. Some pray, others coach their child, and others do not watch. In my case, I avoid watching and just send someone with Iuri unless there is no choice. I do pray, too, a lot while he is playing.

Handling defeat is another case. I used to process his game as soon as it ended. I learned that I should first allow him to understand everything that happened in the game. For him to personally assess and analyze his game, but it would be tricky for someone who is still developing his game sense.

It was a relief for me and Ingrid knowing that he got into the team this year with no drama. For me, the biggest takeaway from this experience is that hard work, perseverance, and persistence yield positive results, but there’s always more to strive for and no room for complacency.

Jaime, my eldest, is also into sports, specifically bouldering. He recently got into it and has already competed. The results were not bad, considering it was his first time joining. Since I have gained some experience as a parent of an athlete, I am now able to apply lessons learned to him. One example is allowing him to process his performance so that he can be more open to talk about it, and also asking him about his goals and areas where he wants to improve.

Every parent wants to see their young athlete successfully make it in their match, but that is impossible in sports or in any serious activity; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But it is the journey through the ups and downs of victory and defeat that make the sports journey meaningful.