Today is the birthday of Padre Pio and I paid him a visit. We have a special devotion to him and so we named our son after him. I spent a few minutes to pray and receive the communion.

These days, I got to spend plenty of date time with another Francesco Pio, our eldest Jaime Francesco Pio. I had several meals with him, and even watched him climb. He is now 20 and as they get older, they live a more independent life, they spend more time with their friends and soon after graduation, their workmates.

A couple of years ago, my spiritual director advised me to spend alone time with each of our children, so they get their father’s undivided attention. I took the advice to heart, and began doing what we used to do when he was younger. Back then, I would even bring him to my office, work events, and meetings. One time, while in a meeting, I even had to excuse myself because he had to number 2. It was not embarrassing, I even thought that it was a badge of honor to be doing daddy duties.

I do like it when he would share his stories about his friends, and that is something he would do when we were eating. It allows me to know who and how he is with his life. There are times that I would give advice and at times just listen, and nod. The other day he invited me to watch him climb and I did. I sat on the chair and sat there silently cheering and clapping when he finishes a problem. I also witnessed his frustration when he could not finish a problem and gets stuck on certain holds. I could not really say anything because I do not know the sport unlike tennis, so I would just smile and tell him to take a break and clear his mind because frustration can get the best of us.

More than a duty, raising a child is a privilege. Not everyone gets to have one and not everyone wants to have one, but in raising a child one is able to experience an inexplicable kind of joy, fulfillment and satisfaction no object can provide. That feeling is present in their achievements, first words, discovery, or standing up from failure. But there are frustrating moments, too, and there are plenty of it. It comes with the contract.

It is not easy, no one ever said it would, you have to give a lot of your time, and energy, but that is the essence of parenting and life: emptying oneself, to give ourselves whole and fully. Yes, we keep some for ourselves, but most of it is given. No, this is not about spoiling them, or buying everything they asked for. This is about spending time and using energy to hear or listen to their unspoken needs. The gym, the stories, the meals — showing up and saying nothing — that is probably the loudest gesture of parenting.